Author Archives: Charissa

Baby Update (3).

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The five weeks since my last post have held a lot of pregnancy milestones! It’s been an exciting time of watching our little girl grow, feeling her kicks get stronger and seeing her dance across my belly.

To start things off – a picture (again, an awkward bump selfie).

29 weeks

Thursday starts 29 weeks which means two key things – we are almost one week into THIRD trimester and I’m now SEVEN months pregnant. Those numbers are in caps because I’m still kind of in shock at how fast this stage of my life is flying by.

This morning I had my glucose and hemoglobin tests – thankfully both had excellent results. Our last ultrasound is the end of this month. Since I will (hopefully) be having a natural birth they want to give a last all clear on things like the placement of the placenta etc. (clearly this is a post for the women ;) ). I’m so excited to get a glimpse of her squirmy little self again! My arms are aching to hold her.

Lately my favorite things to do is watch her kick. She’s sixteen inches long now and about 2 1/2 pounds so her kicks have gotten longer and stronger. At night I lay on the couch and count the seconds until her little feet and arms move. Last night she was rolling around like a dolphin, Tom could see it from across the living room.

Today at my midwife appointment Evie kicked the stethoscope about eight times! We were all laughing watching her react to the pressure of hands and the stethoscope on her little home. She likes to move around a lot, I feel her kicking all over the place – she’ll run out of room to move soon and, when she does, let’s hope she settles into a good position for birth (start praying now!).

Fun things I want to remember from the last few weeks;

- Tom has started calling me Mrs. Bump. Makes me laugh every time.

- Tom now calls his daughter “my little”.  Absolutely precious.

- I still want watermelon. I think that’s less a craving/more summer in SC.

- Evie got caught in her first rainstorm yesterday (my attempt at a walk was cut short), even though she had no idea it was fun to share that with her. There are so many things  I can’t wait to introduce my girl too.

Other updates: Still no other (noticeable) cravings and finally less aversion to greens! I’ve been blending them into fruit smoothies for months to get the nutrients but, at long last, I ate and enjoyed a spinach salad for lunch yesterday. Sleeping is getting even more interesting, I’m averaging about 4 hours a night of uninterrupted sleep and 2-3 where I wake up about once an hour. Ughh. More thankful than ever for a receptionist job that doesn’t demand a lot of energy.

Speaking of jobs, last month we finally made the decision that I would leave my job this fall. I’ve picked up enough freelance work that I can supplement our income from home and, since we own our tiny trailer, staying home is a little more of a financial possibility. I’m giddy. I’m also humbled that this is happening for us – I know so many mom’s who want to be home and just can’t. I am a little apprehensive (some days a lot apprehensive) as my freelance jobs are nowhere near the same as what I make working full-time but, after a lot of prayer, Tom & I both feel it’s the right decision for our little family this year – we’ll continue to reevaluate in the stages to come. Thankfully, we both love to budget and are fine with eating lots of quinoa, which should help in the financial transition – haha.

Our girl is coming so soon.

My last day of work is August 16th – I’ll be 37 weeks which means it’s safe for her to come. My due date is in twelve weeks – what?! We still haven’t done anything in the way of decorating the nursery. However, after much looking I settled on her colors/beddings :) (yes, I’ve changed it since my last post). We’re going with a classic yellow/gray combination that somehow reminds me of both rainy days and spring sunshine. It’s also got some Indian prints which I love!91UN7tbWx2L._SL1500_

Since Evie will actually be  getting more of a nursery corner than a full nursery (as the other half of the room is her dad’s study) I think her room will come together pretty quickly. We’re going do paint some stripes on the wall in her corner and add a few little decorative touches  – since we’ll be moving when she’s about 7 months old we’re not going to be doing any major decorating.

In other semi-related baby news; we’ve been talking about going away for a weekend before she comes – one last trip with just Tom & I (though, technically, Evie’s already been with us to Mexico). We’re thinking about Atlanta? I’ve never been but I LOVE aquariums and have been wanting to visit the Georgia aquarium for a few years now. We don’t have a lot of time or money but  a little weekend to see some fish and celebrate her soon arrival sounds worth it to me.

Any other fun (cheap) babymoon ideas?

All for now.

Steps to Symbiosis.

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The cold, not-so-hard truth: my husband & I are not newlyweds anymore.

Hear me out on this ;) .

We have a loooonng way to go before we hit a milestone of any significant kind (though, isn’t every day married, every kind word spoken and every loving action a milestone?) but, as we prepare to celebrate a year and a half of marriage, it’s dawning on me – we’re not newlyweds anymore. Not really.

In the last 18 months (the official date is in June) our lives have dramatically transformed. We started out in a tiny apartment, I had no job, we had limited experience in decision-making as a couple and almost everything in our lives was new; from our dishes, to our home address, to sex, to how we managed our time.

Last spring I was blessed with a full-time job and, a few months of scrimping and saving later (plus Tom taking on lots of overtime), we  purchased, painted, tiled, repaired and installed a few appliances in our “new” (haha, new in 1981) mobile home. We found and joined our wonderful church, made the decision to start our family (God apparently agreed because five seconds later our family was started) and Tom was accepted into a Master’s program which he began in January.

At 5:30 this morning it dawned on me (no pun intended) that we’ve developed mutual symbiosis in the past year and half. If marriage is a dance all the hours we’ve spent rehearsing steps are paying off in the moments when life demands we freestyle. We’ve learned how to think on our feet and stay in synch in a significantly more consistent way than we knew how to do in December of 2011 after we said “I do”.

To explain why I realized that this morning I need to back up 7 1/2 hours to 10:30 the night before.

For only the second time in our marriage (not an exaggeration) I went to bed after Tom. Granted, it was by about ten minutes but, after six months of going to bed closer to dinnertime than any actual bedtime, I’ll make last night my claim to fame. I walked into the bedroom and saw Tom’s Bible study book on the floor near the bed (he leaves for men’s Bible study at 5:45 on Thursday mornings).

Instantly I knew two things:

1) He would forget the book the next day.

2) I was too tired to take the book into the living room and put it where he would see it.

The alarm went off at 5:30 and I heard him get up and gently close the door so I wouldn’t be too disturbed (he needn’t have worried, Evie had been tap dancing on my bladder for at least 45 minutes). I rolled over to his side (no small feat at six months pregnant) and felt around on the floor for the book.

I know him well. He had indeed forgotten it.

In that moment, blind without my glasses and in the dark, I mustered all my upper body strength and spun the book under the closed, bedroom door and into the hallway where he would have to trip over it and therefore remember it.

Symbiosis.

Mutually working together to get life done.

To his credit Tom has plenty of symbiotic moments too.

Last week my favorite glass picture frame fell off the top of the refrigerator and shattered on the kitchen floor. Somewhere between my panicked gasp (as I saw it start to fall) and the crash when it splintered into pieces, Tom was already on his feet, in the kitchen with the dustpan, sweeping it all up.

He was there because he’s learned two things about me;

1) I get mad/sad when things break.

2) The best way to comfort me is to clean it up ASAP.

Symbiosis.

Mutually working together to get life done.

I have some dearly loved siblings getting married in the next few weeks. They’ve chosen (and been chosen by) future spouses who truly love them and are all committed to building a great marriage; it’s beautiful to see. Thinking about their weddings (and the many other beautiful weddings that have and are happening this time of year) sent me back to our first year (which, thankfully, wasn’t that far back to remember ;) ).

I’ve very interested in relationships (always have been).

Not just the end result but the process – how they develop, why they develop, how they can be made stronger. I started thinking about this idea of symbiosis in marriage and how it began to develop in my own relationship (as well as things we did that well, temporarily killed it). If you’re just starting out here are a few ideas of what worked from a couple about two steps further down the road ( because really, in the whole scope of our married lives a year and a half is just the beginning).

1) Cry in front of each other.

If this is already easy for your that’s wonderful. It wasn’t for me.

I’m alright with crying when I’m happy or sad but, expressing through tears (or very honest words) when I’m hurt feels too vulnerable. Learning to cry in front of Tom when we’ve hurt each other acknowledges two things. First, our love for each other (which is why we have the ability to hurt each other in the first place) and two, our willingness to stick things out until we resolve.

For the first few months of our marriage I struggled to give him those gifts of vulnerability and commitment through conflict.

What I began to learn though was that hiding behind a locked door (my modus operandi) doesn’t accomplish anything; especially when paired with the words “I just want to be alone”. Sometimes that’s true but more often that not it’s a useless phrase hiding the question “do you care enough to come after me when I’m running away from you?”.

Tom has done a lot of coming after me (who knew that bobby pins had so many lock picking purposes?). His faithfulness to pursue me in very unlovely moments has been one of the single greatest gifts of our marriage.

I’m learning a new way.

A more vulnerable, less prideful way of conflict resolution. A way that includes tears, honestly acknowledging your hurts and, also, learning that tears and hurt are normal parts of marriage.

I’m also learning the healing power that comes when the one who caused the tears is also the one to dry the tears. That is redemption. That is marital vulnerability.

2) Acknowledge (and move towards accepting) each other’s quirks.

We all have them.

I (internally) freak out if the couch cushions are crooked (I’m working on it). I strongly prefer the bed made (because, duh, it makes the house feel different). Tom likes the strawberries in his lunch cut in half not whole and prefers to keep his flip-flops by the coat rack not on the porch.

I could go on and on.

Quirks.

We’re learning to adapt where we can and accept each other where we can’t. Now? I try to remember to put the armrest down if I’m the one to drive the van last and, a few mornings ago, Tom headed back down the hallway before work to make the bed because he knows it matters to me.

I think a lot of couples either pretend they’re not bothered by little things their spouse does (in a false attempt at keeping the peace) or assume they have the right to demand their spouse change everything that offends them. At different times Tom & I  have tried both.

After a year and a half of living with each other we’re finding the road to peace is somewhere in the middle. When we expect perfection and smooth sailing is when we’re disappointed, when we train ourselves to expect occasional frustration, to be embarrassed, to have to pick up each other’s slack in various areas – that’s when we’re able to proceed far more smoothly.

Realistic expectations are build when you acknowledge and accept the quirks and work with what you can.

3) Take time to be together.

I’ve written about this before but it’s too important in the first year or marriage not to mention again.

Prioritize your marriage.

I was shocked how quickly our calendar threatened to fill up with overtime at work, church commitments, time with friends and family, small group etc.

Time may be the single greatest gift (on top of stalwart commitment) that you can give your marriage.

The reality is that learning conflict resolution takes time, building a satisfying sexual relationship takes time, combing over the budget so your both on the same page about finances? Time. Researching graduate schools? Time. In-depth discussions about when to start your family, where to live, what car to buy? Time.

Let yourself be home together in the first months of evenings in your marriage. That gives you the space to let a disagreement over dinner flow into a heart-to-heart about what words you need to hear when you’re upset, how you grew up seeing conflict handled, ways you can grow and more.

If it sounds like a lot of work that’s because it can be.

Make yourselves some coffee (or chocolate pudding…or apple slices) and lay a solid foundation for the rest of your marriage. You won’t always have the time or need to spend three hours hashing through the small things but the ability to do so quickly (between dinner and church on a Wednesday night) is built when you spend the time practicing in the early days of your marriage.

4) Assess your relationship. 

Tom & I ask each other and ourselves a lot of questions about our relationship.

Why does that hurt me?

How can I fix it?

Why do we keep getting stuck here?

How can I serve you better?

Keep two fingers on the pulse of your marriage. Don’t choke the life out of it with interrogations and comparisons but regularly evaluate the pro’s and con’s, up’s and down’s of life together.

Stagnant water mildews, stagnant relationships become routine. Mix it up – ask tough questions that you don’t know how to answer and explore solutions, together.

5) Choose contentment.

Choose each other. Over and over again choose each other.

There are a lot of reasons to be discontent in a marriage – some valid. There are reasons of abuse and infidelity to leave a marriage. However, most of us don’t leave and don’t gripe at our spouse for those reasons. Most of us get fed up with the day-to-day realities of living with another person.

We burn out on the underwear on the floor, late dinners, stolen blankets during the night. Those are normal part of marriage but they can get wearisome. Choosing to press through and balance them out with  rose petals on the floor, late brunch on a lazy Saturday and stolen kisses under the blankets helps in choosing contentment during the dry seasons of extra work hours, exam weeks, early bedtime from pregnancy fatigue.

Contentment is always a choice. Always.

6) Celebrate each other.

You guys, this is probably my favorite point.

Tom & I love to celebrate things. Our cat turned one? Small party. Tom got a sale at work? We’ll light a special candle at dinner. It’s Thursday? Back rubs on the living room floor (which temporarily becomes a spa).  Know your spouse’s favorite meal, snack, ice cream store, color and flower. Bonus: know their least favorite chore to do around the house (and occasionally surprise them by doing it – otherwise your knowledge works against you ;) ).

Sometimes the celebration is simple as standing in the card aisle of Wal*Mart and picking out the card we would buy each other – you can read it, feel celebrated and put it back without spending a dime (true story: Tom has chased me down in the store multiple times with a card he picked out just for me, than we drop it back off on our way to the checkout line). Sometimes the celebration is as elaborate as Mexico for our first anniversary.

Oh, Mexico.

Our week there was seriously one of the best weeks of my life. Planning and saving for the trip was something we did together, anticipating it and counting down the days was something we did together, packing and boarding a plane? Together. The togetherness leading up to it culminated in a week of celebrating each other.

Just thinking about the spring sunshine, the balcony in our room, the secret of Evie Claire that we knew about but kept to ourselves, the nights spent barefoot on the beach, evening dinner reservations, card games in the coffee shop, books we got to read, devotions and prayer times overlooking the ocean – mmm, absolutely wonderful and irreplaceable memories.

The time and money (which is sometimes $0.00) spent on preparing a celebration of any size is always worth it. Make sure your spouse knows you see them and appreciate all they do.

So, the moral of this lengthy post is: your first year of marriage, get used to vulnerability, accept each other’s quirks, take time to be together and tackle hard things, assess the strengths and weaknesses you have as a couple that make your marriage unique, be content with your choice of spouse and, at the end of every day, celebrate them like crazy.

Baby Update (2).

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The last (and only) baby update I wrote was when I was 18 weeks pregnant – now? Thursday starts 24 weeks and I’m six months in!

What in the world?

Evie - six months

Evie’s already wearing pink.

Another few weeks and Tom, Evie, Gus and I (yes, this is very much a team effort ;) ) begin the third and, thank God, final trimester.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying my pregnancy but I’m definitely not one of those women who lives to be pregnant. It’s an odd set of physical limitations to work with. I like manual labor, I really do. I enjoy randomly re-arranging all of the furniture in the house; lifting TV’s, pushing dressers and moving couches.  I like yard work, I like sore muscles and I like cleaning and re-arranging closets, cabinets and corners for hours at a time. I’ve never (ever, ever, ever) been athletic (HA) but I’ve always been active  and pretty strong for a girl. It’s hard for me to just…sit (unless it’s pouring rain and I’m on my porch).

In a way, pregnancy may be the best thing for my spiritual life.

I’m learning stillness.

I can’t lie, it feels a tiny bit like a prison sentence. A mandatory restriction to the couch when I didn’t do anything wrong. Yet, in these days of physical fatigue and extra precautions (read: Tom making me swear not to pick up the bed…again) to keep my body healthy and help keep Evie safe, I’m learning contentment (again) and the value of stillness (again).

Solitude will never be my natural bent. I didn’t grow up with it (oldest of six children) and don’t necessarily crave it (unless I’m sick) but I still need it.

Silence is also speech – Unknown

Silence has spiritual lessons no sounds can teach. I know I miss out on those valuable lessons sometimes. I listen more fully when I’m physically still. I’m remembering that.

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness.  God is the friend of silence.  See how nature – trees, flowers, grass – grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence…. We need silence to be able to touch souls.  ~Mother Teresa

More updates; Evie is 8 inches long and  weights about 1.2 pounds. We got to see her little legs kicking and her tiny heartbeat on our ultrasound last month! Some moments I’m so absolutely overwhelmed with love her that I want to cry (thank you, hormones). A few days ago I was at Dunkin’ Donuts (to pick up my…vitamins. Duh) and she kicked me.  That little reminder of her precious life was enough to make me tear up while trying to pay the poor (utterly confused) cashier.

At six months pregnant I crave watermelon. All the time. Sadly watermelon’s are still seven dollars apiece and…I can’t justify that. Come soon, summer watermelon prices, come soon.  I’m still not sleeping much – which makes my full-time job interesting at best and torture at worst. I have started taking naps over my lunch break (errands will just have to wait) which helps. I also finally look pregnant which is fun!

We have our baby registry - I LOVE the bedding we picked out for her. We recently found out we’ll need to move in a year (when Evie’s about seven months old) which changed a lot of my nursery plans. I plan to decorate with pictures, bright bedding and fun colors instead of re-painting the room (since decorative items are portable). I’m so excited about her that I’m even looking forward to having a diaper bag. It’s come to that.

In closing, one funny pregnancy story: last week I was at Target buying a vacuum for a wedding gift. I lifted it into the shopping cart but, when I got to the register, was forbidden to lift it from the cart (by the tiny lady behind me in line). She was sweet and said I “shouldn’t be lifting that” (if only she knew about my re-decorated living room). That was the first time in my pregnancy that anything like that has happened, when I told Tom the story I ended with “it was my first….my first…what IS that called?”. He calmly suggested that I had a received a “pregnant help”. YES. A pregnant help.

Then, the next day I was asked out by a random guy in the Aldi’s parking lot – which is less of a pregnant help and more of a pregnant…what the heck?

The adventure continues.

P.S. In my moments of mandatory stillness this song has been an incredible blessing. Enjoy.

Guest Post: Fun Activities with your Newborn!

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Last week I was able to write a guest post over at Life n’ Stats! The blog is finally live – click on it and leave a comment? I’d love to keep writing for them and, the more views my post guests, the better my chances :) .

Click here to read my post!

Thanks so much for your support everyone, breaking into freelance writing is HARD work. I truly appreciate the kind words, emails and encouragement from all of you as I’m pressing on with something I enjoy so much!

A Letter to my Daughter.

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My precious Evie,

I felt you kicking your little legs last night.

Curled up next to your dad, grieving Boston and coming changes, your innocence brought me hope. Your feet haven’t touched a fallen earth, your fingers haven’t had to wave goodbye, your heart hasn’t been broken.

But all those things will happen, Evie. They’ll happen over and over again while you’re here.

I can’t write that without tears.

Thinking about all the inevitable pain I can’t protect you from. You’re going to grieve, you’re going to lose things that are so precious to you, your heart will be shaken in ways that cut you to your very core.

Since I can’t protect you from everything I’ll do my devoted best to prepare you for life in a shattered world.

I want to say this about faith in Jesus Christ to you, Evie Claire: it’s the heart and soul of your parent’s lives. You are already prayed for every single day; that your limbs would grow strong, organs would develop and that your wild and precious life would, one day, be devoted to Jesus.

We can’t force that belief on you, Daughter (nor would we want too, a forced faith isn’t faith it’s obligation).  You’re not ours to program or mold into our preferred image. You’re ours to discover, to forgive, to show grace too. We’re yours to ask questions of, to wrestle with your faith and struggle through tough issues with.  Don’t be afraid to ask things that shake your world just, please, talk to us about them.

I’ve lived seasons of my life silenced by fear. It’s not the way to go. We will talk with you about anything and everything, Evie. Your faith (or lack of it), your sexuality, your college choices (if you go), your fears and dreams. We will certainly not always have an easy answer but we will wrestle through it with you, we will find our knees in prayer for you and we will hug you so tightly you can’t breathe. You will always have a home with us, somewhere where everything you are belongs.

You’ll meet a lot of people who don’t believe in Jesus. You’ll meet people who have been crushed by others claiming to be Christian’s. You’ll see fights about religious, debates about what to believe (or why you shouldn’t believe anything), you’ll be pelted with arguments for and against every facet of your faith. You’ll have friends who don’t agree, other friends who reject everything they’ve been taught. In the midst of all, look to Jesus.

When Christian’s preach reconciliation and grace and live division and hate, look to Jesus. When your heart is divided between loves, look to Jesus. When you’re terrified that everything you know is slipping away, look to Jesus. When you can’t see him for the mist of the flatlands still gaze towards him, morning will come.  He has promised and, Evie, in my 26 years on earth I’ve found him faithful. Not predictable, easily understood or always visible but eternally faithful.

Can you seem Him, Evie? Can you? His face and body crushed for us? His life an exercise in precisely balanced truth and grace? He is the purest love you’ll ever know. He is The Constant in a world spinning off its axis.

Before you even know Jesus you’ll see him reflected in your daddy and me. That’s a high calling for us, a humble task.

Oh Evie, the first thing your dad did, when we found out you were a girl, was to look up  lists of everything a daughter needs to learn from her dad. He’s got you covered in the life skills department, honey. More importantly,  he will help you see what it means to love like Jesus did, He won’t do it perfectly but he’s committed to it. To you.  He’ll encourage you, tickle you till you laugh so hard you cry, teach you Greek, read you books and hold your tiny hands while he prays over your little bed. I know this because he does all those things for your momma (plus some).

You’ll see so many things that break your heart when you’re here.

Let them break it.

Stay pliable. Stay sensitive. Stay compassionate. Don’t hide behind arguments or anger. Grieve the pain and injustice than jump in to do something about it. Life’s not primarily about you, you are absolutely loved and valuable but your “job” while you’re here is to pour yourself out for the needs and hurts of those around you.

Be a healer, Evie.

Be a woman who helps others. Make a difference in a thousand small ways, they’ll add up to change lives.

I want you to know that life is not about what you wear, how much you weigh or where you work – you’ll meet people who try to convince you it’s about all three. Be the best you possible (you’re one of a beautiful kind), raise your glass in a toast to everything you’ll never be and move on with your life. Don’t waste time agonizing over what you’re not.

Be kind to every person you meet, honey. They all matter as much as you do. You don’t have to (and shouldn’t) let yourself be treated badly or agree with everyone’s actions but each human being deserves your utmost respect. Whether you agree with them or not, whether you like them or not, whether they respect you or not. You’ll have to stand up for unpopular things in your life, Evie. Your convictions may not always be widely accepted but you must never forget that you walk a fine line , balancing grace and truth, that’s suspended over beating hearts. See the person in every human.

There are a lot of big lessons and bigger truths in this letter and, when we meet you in September, Evie, you’re going to be a very little person. It’s all intertwined to me though. The reason you’ll talk to us about the big things is because we were faithful to be your dad and mom in the little things.

There’s so much I don’t know; where you’ll take your first steps, what country you’ll grow up in, how many siblings you’ll have, what your first word will be, what needs you’ll have, where you’ll struggle, how long we’ll have you, how long you’ll have us. So many question marks.

What I know is that every second of every day that we have each other; we’ll be there for you.

Holding you at 3 a.m. Changing another diaper. Teaching you to play with Gus (oh, you’ll love Gus), helping you count the flowers, practicing your letters, letting you be a helper even when you’re doing everything but helping, feeding you cheese, taking care of any special needs you might have, teaching you about life, showing you Jesus (and, oh Evie, you need him to make it through life). Through the in’s and out’s, the up’s and down’s, the everyday mundane. They’ll be rough days, you’ll be sick, I’ll be tired, you’ll be need, I’ll be anxious, you’ll be cranky and I’ll be angry – at times, all three of us will probably be crying but your dad and I will be there.  You’re our girl. Forever.

There’s so much more I want to say but I’ll save it for future letters, future whispers in your newborn ears and future talks when both of us are squished into your bed.

I love you so much,

Mom

Evie Claire.

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Our precious baby GIRL will be here in September!! :) Her name is pronounced with a long e: ee-vee and we’re counting the seconds until we get to meet her!

EC1 (E)

EC3 (E)

Baby Update (1).

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First, bump selfies? Nearly impossible to take (here’s today’s attempt).

FotoFlexer_Photo

Yay, you can see the bump!

I realized last night that I haven’t done a real pregnancy update post and, suddenly, I wanted too.  So, here goes (male readers -you’re welcome to stick around but I’m not under any delusions that this is a post that will thrill you. Don’t worry I’m not the slightest bit offended).

The Bump has finally arrived! We found out about the baby so early (around 4 1/2 – 5 weeks) that it felt like an eternity before there was anything to show for it!  The belly still comes and go’s a little bit but, as Tom said last night, “wow, I can really SEE it now!”.  It seems to be sticking around on a more regular basis.

This week we head into EIGHTEEN weeks of pregnancy. Our ultrasound is scheduled for early April (yes, we’re finding out the gender and yes, we’re telling people) which will officially be the half-way point!

So far I’ve had a great pregnancy. Mild on the nausea and extreme on the fatigue (seriously, around 8:30 most nights Tom asks if he should tuck me into bed. Also, most nights I say yes). I am starting to feel a little more energized but it comes in unpredictable spurts – on Saturday I couldn’t stop checking things off my to-do list. Yesterday? All I could do get out of bed and finish the must-do’s. In theory this gets better? Still waiting for that (though, I will take fatigue over throwing up any day). I’ve been able to keep my full-time job and stay involved in most church, family, small group activities. Very grateful for that.

Currently? I’m slowly gathering ideas for the baby registry/nursery – I don’t like clutter so we plan to just get the essentials and add as we need too. I’m thrilled to (almost) be able to choose some colors and nursery decor. I love Indian needlepoints and prints, turquoise, yellow, gray and navy so I know we’ll be building off those. Here are some ideas of what I’m thinking (all from various places around Pinterest).

We’re desperately trying to decide on a boy’s name (we’ve had our girl’s name since we were dating). We’re both 100% convinced it’s a girl buuuuttttt just to be safe we want a boy’s name too. We’d honestly be thrilled either way. We want boys and girls through a combination of natural birth and adoption – whatever order and way they want to come is fine with us.

Tom has been amazingly patient with me.

I’ve been more emotional about everything and, as already mentioned, a lot more tired. He’s been a faithful provider of back-rub’s, tolerant of the same quick dinners and comforting when I randomly dissolve into a puddle of tears (which, thankfully hasn’t been too often, ha!). His prayers for me and the health and safety of this baby are precious. He’s eagerly waiting for the day when he can feel the baby kick (he checks every night to see if he can feel even a little wiggle!) I’m very grateful for his kindness and provision as my husband and can’t wait to see him snuggle our baby.

I haven’t had any (noticeable) cravings. Early on I couldn’t get enough tomatoes and cheese….but I already ate those. I still hate pickles. No change there, haha. I gave up caffeine (in the form of coffee, I also hate soda) when we found out we were pregnant (I realize this isn’t 100% necessary – it was my personal preference). We’ve also been eating a lot more fruits, veggies and leaner proteins – the result is that, even without morning sickness, I’ve lost ten pounds in the first four 1/2 months. WEIRD. I’ll certainly take it, I was just  a surprise each time I stepped on the scale . I want to be as healthy as possible during this pregnancy (while, umm, still eating frozen yogurt). I’ll gain every oz. the baby needs to thrive but I want to be as intentional as I can to make the rest of my pregnancy, labor, delivery and recovery as  healthy as I personally can. Pray I’m not overwhelmed too regularly by the desire for pasta ;) .

Lately, we’re just getting excited to discover who this baby is. Taking guesses about their little features and personality. Praying that we’ll be able to teach them about grace and unconditional love. Brainstorming art projects and games we’ll get around too eventually. There’s (obviously) so much we don’t know about parenting. Yet, I know in time and with much prayer and practice we’ll figure it out.

Counting down the days to meet you, baby. We love you so much already.

 

We’re All Searching For Something (Part 5).

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Before we get into the hilarious, sobering and all-out confusing list of search terms that have found my blog over the last three months I have a pet peeve I would like to share.

South Carolina drivers: PLEASE MERGE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS MERGE.

When there is not enough room remaining in the on-ramp for your BIG TOE to fit (let alone your entire CAR) it’s time to MERGE into an actual lane. When your car teeters precariously between the emergency lane or forest lining the road and the lane it’s time to get over.  When traffic has stalled behind you as you waver between reality and your invisible third lane it’s time to stop texting and merge in with the rest of us.

Ok, I feel better.

Thanks for listening.

Moving on.

1) “no one is old enough for fairy tales”: Au contraire, everyone is old enough for fairy tales.

2) “how to make love”: Courage. Passion. Patience. Flexibility. Time.

3) “longfellows iced coffee”: Venti? Grande? Milk? Cream? Also, just because you didn’t ask, here is a snippet of my favorite Longfellow poem (“Day is Done”).

The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.
I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o’er me
That my soul cannot resist:
A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain.

4) “wife loses modesty on honeymoon”: You didn’t clarify but as long as its YOUR wife…I don’t see the problem here?

5) “how to break up a relationship between two christian people”:  Huh. I was almost on your side with words of comfort – then I re-read your search. Don’t be the middle man (or woman) who breaks UP a relationship.

6) “christian i broke up with the love of my life”:  I want to hug you.

7) “insurance adjuster communication motivational posters”: If insurance adjustment is your line of work I would imagine you need all the motivation you can get. Sorry I couldn’t help (I…eerr…think).

8) “fairy tales you can say under 2 minutes”: This one? Be warned, it’s a tearjerker.

9) “shaky hands and unstable body is a result of”: So. many. things. You should probably see a doctor (also, you probably found my blog because of this post).

10) “home schooling jumpers cool”: I rocked a denim (and, seperately, a floral)  jumper back in the day. Never again. I’ve written about them though.

11) “things that inspire me to write poem when im at the beach”: EVERYTHING.

12) “giving up swimsuit modesty”: Please don’t.