I warn you now – this is a sappy, sad, sentimental entry.
Today, on my lunch break, I scurried over to our old apartment to do some cleaning before we have to turn in our keys.
I knew it would be messy and sticky – I didn’t expect it to be sad.
I actually teared up scrubbing out the refrigerator, wiping down cabinets and cleaning mirrors. The eleven months we’ve had this apartment are crammed full of memories (for those of you desperately doing the math, Tom lived there for five months before we got married ).
That spot right there is where we sat and opened all our wedding gifts on a cold, Saturday morning in December.
Over there is where we cried together over news that broke our hearts.
Here is the spot where I always laid on the floor and watched him do dishes.
Here is where he stood when he wanted to be held.
Here is where Tom gave me a beautiful necklace.
Here is where we laughed so hard we cried.
Here is where we cried so hard than laughed.
Here is where he set-up an Easter egg hunt for me.
Here is where so much love has been made.
Here is where we danced. Slow and long around the living room.
Here is where I learned to make bread.
Here is where Tom tucked me in on the sofa so I could watch the rain.
Here is the vitamin spot. The cookie jar spot. The place for our notes to each other. The corner for the mail.
Here is where we hotly debated our budget categories.
Here is where so many of our inside jokes were born.
Here is the door I slammed in anger :/.
Here is the rug we always had to straighten.
Here is the floor we labored over to correctly tile.
When a place has been your home it’s hard to leave it. I am thrilled about our new home; I really am. We’ve worked hard on it and it (finally) looks beautiful. Yet, I don’t know how to say “hello” without first saying “goodbye”. My heart can’t hold all the conflicting emotions – I needed today (and the rest of the cleaning time tonight) to say goodbye. To gather up all my memories from dusty corners and closet shelves and carry them to a new home.
Tomorrow is our sixth month anniversary.
I don’t even know how half-a-year has passed since our wedding day.
Getting married was the biggest, most beautiful change I’ve ever experienced. It’s hard work, I’ve said that before, but it’s such good work. I can trust him to have my back, to help me change for good, to work hard to provide for me. Together we can accomplish a lot.
Lately we’ve been using our driving time (and we’ve been doing a lot of driving while we move) to pray. There is so much we’re considering for the future, so much we’re looking into. I don’t know what the next six months, six years or sixty years will hold but I know I want to find out standing by Tom’s side following our God.
That comforts me.
Even though the house will change - I get to keep the same person.
Still though, it’s sad to say goodbye to the first home I got to make for him. To the place of so many first’s. So, excuse me while I go cry about it all…after I get off work, of course.
I love you, babes (heckuva,heckuva) - happy six.
Where we love is home,
Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes