Umm, I love this. My friend, Kate, found it and forwarded it to me. I think I need a print so I can hang it in my bathroom (which, I recently decided is going to be decorated like a rainy day.) I’m not entirely sure what that means but it’s my working theme. My inspirational motto. My vision.
Tonight, my man & me are escaping with some friends for a (long) weekend. Four days of walking in the sand, running on the beach, sipping coffee at the shore. It’s really idealistic in my head…I should probably try to lower those expectations in case I step on a jellyfish, get a sunburn or forget my toothbrush.
hark, now hear the sailors cry,smell the sea, and feel the sky
let your soul & spirit fly, into the mystic – Van Morrison
Tom & I have some important conversations to have. It’s funny how real life, sickness, appointments who run late and sleepiness can all get in the way of connecting with your spouse. It’s just reality that sometimes the best we can do is to make dinner together.
I once heard a man talk about the importance of growing for (as well as growing towards) your spouse. Growth is a sign of life. As people we’re always changing, always evolving (in the non-monkey sense). There are areas of our faith, communication skills and conflict styles that Tom & I really want to be better for each other in. More whole, more Christ-like.
It takes time though. That’s the killer.
I’m amazed how many demands can be made on a day. Our workdays sometimes extend till 7:00 at night, there are needs here and needs there, the car breaks down, the budget needs adjusting.
Before we got married Tom and I decided that we would guard our time as well as we could. For us it’s as simple as running all commitments past each other (prior to agreeing) and staying home at least two weeknight and one weekend evening. Oh, and Sunday afternoons – that’s our nap time 
.
These rules have given us a really rich first four months of marriage because we’ve had time to talk through hard things, laugh together and learn each other.
It hasn’t always been consistent - people have needs, we have needs, we have to grocery shop, plans change, our apartment needs maintenance work etc. but we’ve at least cycled back around to that schedule every other week.
It’s difficult to keep that perspective. We’ve had to sacrifice some things and re-schedule others.
Our world is so frantically busy. Everything hums, chatters, races and moves. In the midst of all of it Tom & I want to remember our first ministry is to each other as husband and wife. . To spend all our emotional and spiritual resources outside our marriage would be wrong. We vowed to take care of each other in those ways.
This weekend we have a little more time and little less responsibility. No phone, no internet.
The gift of a few days to bury our bare feet in the sand, talk, pray together and discover new ways we each have and want to grow.
For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It’s always our self we find in the sea.
~e.e. cummings
Happy (almost) weekend. You can do it .
Beautiful post, Charissa! Have a lovely time near the sea this weekend! Glad you liked the poster.
I feel quite the same as you do on the matter!
Harlan and I have had a very similar discussion recently. I’m going to start saving in an attempt to finally have a real anniversary trip. And this summer I am thinking of planning some fun (and cheap) dates — bowling, the drive-in, a walk in a park, a picnic, the river…I just need to remind myself that quality time does not equal expensive time. I am bad about scheduling too much and I need to slow down and take more time with Harlan. He’s such a fun guy to be with, after all!
Also, I love the quotes you’ve used, especially the one by e.e. cummings.
Kate, you love the rain?! We need to go for a walk in it once we move into the village
.
Cheap dates are the best – some of our favorite memories are under 5 dollars or…free. Stargazing on a dock in the early summer, the 2 dollar theatre, running the dam, free breakfast at Chik-Fil-A (I guess that one you kind of have to wait for
), walking under an unmbrella on a rainy night (mmm), making out in the mountains (haha).
When is your anniversary? Any ideas where you would like to go?
Next to the wind, the rain is my favorite! I do NOT like hot, sunny days. Ugh. I feel like hibernating.
If it does rain this summer (haha), I would adore being able to take a walk in it. Otherwise, we’ll have to memorize the sprinkler schedule here and meet up during lunch sometime.
Cheap dates are so great because you can focus on each other and what you’re saying instead of having an itinerary. I love it. My favorite dates have been late night drives (to somewhere or not), sitting on the swings at the apartments, and curling up on the couch to watch something while we eat and then discussing it later. I want to take a camera walk at some point — sharing a camera and taking pictures sounds like a blast to me.
Our anniversary is November 1 — it will be 4 years! Crazy how the time flies. I would *like* to take Stu somewhere he hasn’t been before — a bed and breakfast in the mountains, or a condo at the beach…somewhere close by but far enough away to just relax. I have to think about it some more.
Although he said he’d LOVE to see Harvey on Broadway during the summer because Jim Parsons (Sheldon on Big Bang Theory) is starring, but only until August…so there’s that option too.
Do you have a list of places you’d like to visit at some point/things you’d like to do together?