The 59th Day.

Today I can officially say:

“I’m getting married next month”

:)

It’s getting more and more difficult to concentrate on anything not-related to the wedding. Including sleep.

Last night I lie (lay?) awake from 4-6 a.m. considering wedding veils, the order of ceremony and wedding pictures. About 5 a.m. I started to see  myself as a  fish tossing back-and-forth, back-and-forth…ad infinitum.

*sigh*.

Is it worth sacrificing two hours of sleep if I’ve decided my veil will not have ivory satin edging? I know you were on the edge of your seats.

It’s been a whirlwind year.

Falling in love with Tom, getting engaged and planning a wedding to my love have filled my days with a lot of joy…and, currently, a lot of details. Worth it though.

As of December 30th, at approximately 7:10 p.m, we will be man and wife.

Forever.

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” -  Matthew 19:4-6

Last night was a productive evening spent with my handsome fiance. I have to brag on him for a moment – he harvested our herb garden (so we don’t lose the herbs in the frost).

Here’s proof. He was so cute telling me the differences between mint julep and curly parsley ;).

Last night he also hooked up our television, helped make cilantro rice & lime-teriyaki chicken bowls (umm, YUM) and answered 1,001 wedding questions (i.e. do you want to wear a blush, ivory or black tie?).

Then, he patiently (and without my asking) rubbed my back for 30 minutes while I had a teensy-weensy meltdown over the four-page to-do list I’d created for myself.

Then, immediately following the back-rub, I proceeded to pour an entire glass of ice-cold water on myself.

I was apparently too relaxed.

Tom rushed to my aid with a dish-towel and patiently patted my legs dry. He’s a gem.

Truly.

He then prayed over me and begged me to drive home…very, very slowly.

During the 3+ months we’ve been engaged we’ve tried to prioritize each other despite the busyness. He’s honestly better at that then I am – some days my list rules my actions. Last night was probably one of those times.

I deeply love this man

P.s. this was an accidental shot (dropped the camera) taken immediately after we got engaged. I love it though - utterly captures our joy.

On a related note; I was saddened to read that Kim Kardashian’s 72 day marriage is over. I don’t know much about her, nothing about him and obviously have no idea what reasons went into either the wedding or divorce but I do know it saddened me.

There is a security, stability and joy meant to accompany the promise of forever that, to me, just rings hollow when accompanied by a pre-nuptial agreement.

There are valid reasons for divorce – abuse and infidelity among them – boredom, difficulty communicating, inability to compromise, money, sex – these are issues to work through, pray though, love through and, at times, fight through.

I don’t mean this as attack on Kim Kardashian. Like I said, I have absolutely no idea what issues are involved in her relationship. Yet, as a woman just on the brink of marriage, I’m genuinely saddened to think the loss of what could have been.

What intimacies and joys might they have discovered in fighting through difficulty and coming out the other side stronger  – together?

I write this a challenge to myself. To mediate on. To remember.

Love and trust need daily nurture.

As Tom & I say all the time “it’s the small things”. Last night, despite the fact that it was late and I was soaking wet -  I ran back inside to hug him one more time.

It wasn’t on my to-do list (and it’s hardly a great sacrifice on my part – that’s not why I share it) but loving him well and receiving his affection is what will keep us strong. Sacrificing for each other. Crying with each other- not behind each others backs. Praying over each other. Laughing.

There’s so much cynicism about marriage. It’s difficult to find quotes that speak well of the unity, intimacy and joys of it.

Here, on the brink of “taking the plunge”,  our hearts are filled with joy.

We have waited for each other.

We have prayed long and hard about our relationship. We have sought counsel and are seeking to grow closer to our God and to each other.

I know marriage will be both more work and more joy then I expect but I also know Tom and I are committed to working through the difficulties the way we started our relationship;

together.

3 thoughts on “The 59th Day.

  1. There really is something about those men who show grace and patience when we seem to lose it, huh? ;) Truly, they are such a blessing.

    I too was very disappointed in the news of the Humphries-Kardashian divorce. My first thought was “does no one feel convicted over the vows they made anymore?!?” Your words, yet again, echo my thoughts about marriage and the sanctity of it. The issue spurred me to ask Nick (my love), to fight for us in the future. I pray that you and Tom will always fight for each other and your marriage…
    With love.

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